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March 2009
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Michael Gurian and "The Purpose of Boys"

I am a huge fan of Michael Gurian, a psychotherapist and author whose life's work is helping society understand how to raise children to be secure, happy and fulfilled. His special focus is boys, and how our culture doesn't support them in their development.

I have been very guilty in the past of being angry at men because they're not more like women. As I learned about the differences in the brains and neurochemistries of men and women as I wrote The Chemistry of Connection, I realized that it's neither fair to expect this nor possible for men to relate in the same way that women do.

Gurian has terrific ideas for ways that parents and society can help boys find ways to live honorable lives that harness their strengths. His latest book, The Purpose of Boys, is designed to help parents give boys what they need to thrive.

USA Today interviewed Gurian about the book, and it's well worth reading.

More Evidence of Human Pheromones

Pink Kitty Nose
Originally uploaded by lissalou66.

Thanks to Matthew for sending me the link to this Wired blog post about research into the human response to inhaling sex hormones. George Preti of the Monell Chemical Senses Center, found that women were better able to detect human body odor when it was masked by scent or deodorant.

Researchers there are doing lots of interesting research into how human olfaction, aka smelling, influences behavior.  I've written about their study showing that lap dancers make more money when they're fertile. They've also shown differences in the way gay and straight people respond to inhaling androgens.

I think they are moving toward proving that humans respond to pheromones just like the rest of our butt-sniffing mammalian cousins, thanks to the vomeronasal organ, which is not so vestigial as they thought. I think this is important and valuable, because it reminds us that our animal bodies are as important as our analytical cerebral cortexes.

And, for the purposes of this oxytocin-centric blog, I think we also inhale molecules of oxytocin given out by others, which helps initiate trust.

Tweet the Monkey

  • 15:56 @sarahmalinak I'm so glad to be working with you. Your ebook is a refreshing change from those "charge up your sex life" stories & good advi #
  • 18:59 Photo: Penguins in Love via┬áThe Home Base #
  • 07:30 @sashasf "Nothing feels better than when Forbes beats you to a story" ahh who reads that rag? Thnx for the RT! #
  • 07:35 reading: @riccineer good thinking about what "professional" means these days #
  • 08:00 @perrybelcher tell me more about neurological copywriting #
  • 08:42 @contemporaryfur I think twitter is too noisy for real dialog #
  • 08:42 I now have a page on Healing International -- I'm still working on my own healing, tho #
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Official Launch of My Oxytocin Book


The Chemistry of Connection
, my book about how the oxytocin response affects our lives and loves, is now available online and in bookstores. It's been a five-year process, writing two different books for two different publishers. And it was all worth it. I really like the book and I'm proud of it.

I hope you will read it, and, to sweeten the deal, I got together with three fascinating women to do a book publication promotion. If you buy the book today, you can download their e-books for free. You'll get information and insights to transform your connections no matter what stage of live or love you're in, from looking to long-contented.

Go to the promotion now at, or read on to learn more about these bonus gifts.

They are:

Marilyn Gordon, a transformational teacher, healer and writer -- who helped  me overcome writer's block and love writing this book

Joy Nordenstrom, whose Intelligent Love: 411 for Men is a smart and fun use of neuroscience to help explain love; she's CEO of Joy of Romance, and hosts fantastic aphrodisiac dinner parties

Sarah Malinak, an author who, with her husband, puts out an insightful newsletter about relationships, as well as explaining how love patterns we learned as kids play out in adult relationships

Cynthia Lubow, MFT, a psychotherapist and author who specializes in helping people with all levels of depression; she's developed science-based self-care methods that can really work

To download these excellent books, you can either go directly to Amazon to buy the book, or start at Make a note of your Amazon purchase confirmation code, and then click on the link on my book's site to register the purchase.

This promotion will end on April 9!

And please, let me know what you think of the book.