with Jasvir Singh
Not enough time to nurture your children in the day? Nurture them in their sleep as well.
We are not born knowing how to love—the kind of mothering we get shapes our oxytocin response. How many oxytocin receptors the baby brain develops depends on the nurturing, love and intimacy the baby gets in the first months of life. These days, parents are often so busy that it can be difficult to give their child the amount of love they need.
According to Nancy Beck, a good way to nurture a child is through pillow talk—a message you can deliver while you’re child is sleeping. Beck, BSN, RN, developed a book called "Pillow Talk: Loving Affirmations to Encourage and Guide Your Children," that explains this unique parenting skill. She says that pillow talk is an effective and easy way to infuse children with love while they are asleep.
She explains how to give your child life- and love-affirming messages that will remind him or her that your loving presence is constant.
Beck's concept is not the same as subliminal learning; nor is it a form of brainwashing. Pillow talk will not override a child’s free will. It shouldn’t be used to convince a child to do anything or alter their thoughts---rather, she says, it is there to support one’s nurturing parenting skills day and night. Pillow talk can help your child develop a strong oxytocin response that allows them to grow up to be more confident, less worried, and connect with others more deeply. You can view Nancy’s article on Pillow Talk and find out about her book on her website, NurseNancyTalk.com.
Sometimes, a hard-working parent can't even get home in time to spend an affectionate hour or two while kids are awake. Nancy's book reminds us that we can help shape a healthy oxytocin response and build a strong bond with our children at any time of day or night.