Are Women More Likely to Forgive (and Forget)?

Still another fascinating human oxytocin study was published last week. Adam Guastella, from the Brain & Mind Research Institute, University of Sydney, gave 69 men a whiff of oxytocin and then showed them photos of faces. Some of the faces were happy, some neutral, some angry.

The next day, they showed the men some of the same photos mixed with new ones -- sans oxytocin. They asked them which ones they remembered; the men who had inhaled oxytocin were more likely to remember the smiling faces.

Adam Guastella also is doing a trial using oxytocin during couples psychotherapy, to see if it makes the couples more open and connected, thereby increasing the progress they make. Beate Ditzen did an experiment a couple of years ago in which couples snorted oxytocin and then engaged in an argument. Those who got oxytocin were better able to resolve the dispute with less anger.

At LiveScience.com, Meredith Small reports on the study in a post with the provocative title, How Birth Control Lets Us Down. Her premise is that because lactating seems to be the state in which we release the most oxytocin, when women don't have children or have fewer of them, we're missing out on the positive emotional benefits:

...the oxytocin universe has altered for many women. In Western culture today, women barely lactate at all, leaving them just as physiologically ready to hold a grudge, to never forget the face that did them wrong, as any man.

Too bad. Perhaps what we need is more lactation, by men and women, or a daily shot of oxytocin to help us all put on a happy face.

Of course, oxytocin is released in response to all sorts of social interactions. And, while estrogen seems to enhance its effects, making women more open to bonding or to forgetting those angry faces, men certainly fall under its influence as well.

Small makes another interesting and very important point, though: In situations or cultures where women do tend to be the ones to center the family and maintain social connections, this skill is not always valued:

Problem is, those good social skills, that penchant to forget the faces of those who are angry or neutral, has not always helped women. Instead, men, who are never awash in oxytocin and who apparently never forget an angry face, usually see women as emotional Pollyannas, silly creatures always ready to forgive and forget.

Of course, she is engaging is some stereotyping. Women certainly hold grudges, sometimes better than men, perhaps because a breach of the social bond is more devastating. And men are certainly awash in oxytocin, although their neurochemistries can make its effects less obvious.

See "Oxytocin enhances the encoding of positive social memories in humans."

Comments

[Juan]

I love your sensible, reasonable approach to oxytocin. I can't wait until your book comes out!

[Phil]

I am not throughly convinced of the stereotype, but it does provide information regarding tendencies on how male and female cope with stress. The fight and flight is tempered with tend and befriend.

Oxytocin released by the female may be 'protective' when faced with a charged release of cortisol by the male, in essence to counteract or diffuse the situation. I speculate that this is in the realm of the vomeronasal organ. Another study demonstrated that the smell of androstadienone, a chemical component of male sweat, maintains higher levels of cortisol in females.

Another study by National Sleep Foundation actually displayed a tendency for the scents tested (heliotropin and androstenone) to disrupt sleep, while lavendar and jasmine showed remarkable differences in the amount of slow wave or deep sleep.

Bryan Raudenbush, PhD at Wheeling Jesuit University revealed that drivers demonstrated a reduced level of anger along with improved alertness and overall driving performance when exposed to the scents of pine and strawberry.

One wonders with the addition of sleep deprivation if this has in some way interferred with the rhythmic pulsations and interchange of the delicate 'hormonal' balance.

[Susan Kuchinskas]

Juan, you are so kind, thank you! Phil, I agree! I think the vomeronasal organ will turn out to be hugely important for human interactions ... just like it is for the rest of the animals.

I too believe that humans can detect molecules of oxytocin coming from each other, as well as the estrogens and androgens, which have been shown in studies already.

[Renee]

I was reading the comments from the article on Birth Control, this one I thought was important.

"I feel this oxytocin effect has some troubling implications in terms of domestic abuse. The information you quote seems to suggest that women who have high level of oxytocin maybe predisposed to forgiving and forgetting abusive husbands.

The article seems to suggest at the end that oxytocin, or the effect it seems to engender, would make the world a better place, but this is something I would not agree with. Being unable to remember an unhappy or angry face would not make the problem that caused unhappiness or anger go away. I feel that this make actually make a person unable to deal with tough interpersonal issues, both in social and in domestic situations."

Young women (and older) have to be so aware how easily that she may be attached to the wrong person in engaging in a personal relationship, that women need to take the extra step and be a little more vigil about how close they get attached to the potential mate.