Why Do I Feel Stoned After Sex?

Some people say they feel stoned after sex. That is, it's that same feeling they get after smoking pot.

I can't find scientific evidence, but I think this is because marijuana causes an oxytocin release in the brain, just as orgasm does.

Oxytocin is released naturally by the hypothalamus during sex and at orgasm. In the body, it causes a feeling of well-being and relaxation. In the brain, it causes us to feel connected to whomever we're with.

I think this same kind of oxytocin release in the brain is responsible for some of the nicest effects of marijuana, that "mellow" feeling, and also that deep soul connection that sometimes happens, that hippie brotherhood.

The drug ecstasy reportedly produces similar feelings of connection with other. And ecstasy, also known as MDMA, has been shown to increase oxytocin release in rats, while clubsters on ecstasy had higher levels of oxytocin in their blood. I don't think it's a stretch to believe that pot has the same effect -- if your brain happens to work that way. (Some people respond to potential intimacy with fear or avoidance; they may feel edgy or paranoid when they smoke weed.)

So that stony feeling after sex -- again, if your brain works that way, and if the sex felt safe and connected -- would be the same stony feeling you got from marijuana.

See also "The Sex/Food/Love Connection" for insight into how food also triggers these same responses.

Comments

[L]

Can we get a play-by-play guide on how to make break-ups less miserable based on what we know about oxytocin and the chemicals inolved? I mean, it's got to be physiology and psychology, and I'd like to hear both sides for a change, not lame psychological self-help. It might be a good chapter topic for a future book or blog article? I am, of course, asking because I just ended a long-term relationship and wish something like that were around HtM.

L

[Susan Kuchinskas]

You're right, it would be a great topic for an article -- and I think there is some good science that comes into play. The more I learn about neurochemicals, the less I see a separation between psychology and physiology -- and psychology is going in this direction, too.

My very brief prescription for getting over a breakup would be:

1. Get lots of oxytocin from other sources: friends, family, dogs. If none of your own are available, borrow a friend's dog or volunteer at the animal shelter.

2. If you like to, masturbate. This will up your oxytocin and reset your other important neurochemical levels, including serotonin and prolactin, which are important for calm and relaxation.

3. Increase your production of dopamine, the neurochemical of excitement and reward. If you play any sports, compete all-out. Do new things that take you out of your comfort zone -- bungee jumping, skiing, salsa dancing.

Okay, now I'm sounding like a self-help article, aren't I? But these activities will cheer you up psychologically by changing the physiology, specifically, the neurochemical balance of your brain.

And accept my warmest sympathy for the break-up. I've been through a lot of them, and if anything, they get worse, not easier. But it will pass!