Saving a Troubled Adoption

When I started this blog more than two years ago, the severe behavioral problems that adopted kids and their parents struggle with was really under the radar. Reactive attachment disorder, PTSD and other ills that affect children who were traumatized by, if nothing else, being separated from their mothers, are becoming mainstream concerns, thanks to articles like this one from the Boston Globe.

In "Choices of the Heart," Patricia Wen tells the story of a family that almost relinquished their son when he was 15. Luckily, as a last resort, they found an attachment therapy center that, after months of intensive work, allowed him to heal -- and return to the family.

Comments

[Liz Hennessy]

My brother died when I was ten months old and my parents were in grief for the rest of their life.
I suspect this incident and the their subsequent behavior have created oxytocin damage to my hormone production levels which has just been occuring to me after hearing Nancy Snyderman on NBC talking about stress hormones versus /oxytocin surging through the body.I feel I have been stuck in the former since early childhood to a greater or lesser extent.I feel my life could change dramatically with the right balance of oxytocin.
Is oxytocin available under supervision for the general public and where do I go for accurate and correct monitoring.

[Susan Kuchinskas]

Oxytocin treatments are under development, but not available yet. However, it is possible to "learn" the oxytocin response at any age.

It's not a question of damage to the oxytocin system, but rather of the brain's not learning to produce it in response to intimacy. A baby's brain and nervous system aren't fully developed at birth; she learns many neurochemical reactions from her mother in a process called co-regulation.

But if her mother is deeply in grief, angry, or if she simply didn't get enough nurturing from her own mother, she may not be able to soothe her own baby and teach her the oxytocin response.

The amount, distribution and sensitivity of oxytocin receptors in the brain are influenced by experiences after birth.

You are likely correct about what happened to you. You reacted to your mother's grief and stress, and your own system modeled itself after hers. You may not be as sensitive to oxytocin as you could be and should be for your emotional well-being.

However, the brain is plastic, and it can change at any age. Oxytocin receptors may develop or become more sensitive in response to adult experiences.

Being dosed with oxytocin might help you understand what connection and intimacy can feel like. But you also can work on developing this without drugs.

Many things can engender an oxytocin release in the brain without triggering fear or anxiety at being vulnerable to someone else.

Singing in a choir or chorale group has been shown to elevate oxytocin. So has petting a dog.

There are no studies showing this, but I think that caring for beings that are smaller and weaker -- babies, children, animals, old people -- releases oxytocin.

There are studies showing that the structure of the brain can be changed with psychotherapy. The key with therapy is finding a therapist who is willing to be real and present and enter into a true relationship with you, letting you practice intimacy in a safe situation.

They test oxytocin levels in the blood, but a couple of studies indicate that it's not so much the absolute level of oxytocin in body as an increase in the amount. It's the sudden increase that seems to trigger the connected feeling.

I don't think you need to be monitored. I think you have a very good sense of what's going on inside you, and you can trust that.

Please don't wait for an oxytocin drug. Please believe that you can teach yourself to get the love you need.