My Oxytocin Dose

Last Sunday, Mike and I tried our our own oxytocin dosing experiment.

My baseline mood: For the past week, I had been feeling cranky in general. I also had been dissatisfied with my relationship with Mike. Some of those issues were situational: For several months, he has had band practice or a meeting scheduled every week night, and he's been staying in the TV room late at night. He hasn’t joined me on hikes or bike rides lately. There are also the typical living-together annoyances: not putting dirty dishes in the dish washer, leaving newspapers all over the dining room table, not helping take care of the dog.

I realize that how I react to these annoyances depends on my general mood. Sometimes I can just shrug, other times I feel intensely annoyed, even though the situation hasn't changed. As I said, I've felt cranky lately.

We did our experiment in Sunday afternoon.

I chose an anti-snore inhaler because it was cheap and had a screw top. I poured out the contents and rinsed the bottle with distilled water. I was very casual about mixing: I simply filled the little plastic oxytocin vial with water, shook it and emptied it into the inhaler, then refilled the vial with water and repeated to make sure I got every possible molecule out. (The dose for the two of us cost me $87!)

We alternated taking an inhale in each nostril, passing the inhaler back and forth about six times.

After the first two inhalations, I felt a fairly intense flush that started in my sinuses and extended out to the sides of my face. My lips felt thick and, at first, I felt slowed down, moving through syrup. I felt, in other words, stoned -- but stoned in a way that grass seldom makes me feel. (I don't smoke weed, because it usually makes me feel anxious; my mind races and I lose my belief that I know and understand the people around me.)

After the first druggy feeling passed, in about five minutes, I felt very calmed down. I looked at Mike and thought of the things I was mad about, but I couldn’t get in touch with that angry feeling.

Neither did I feel any intense, oceanic bonding with him. But I was very aware of and attracted to the smell and touch of his skin. I always love the way he smells, but it was now delicious to kiss and sniff and lick his ears and neck and shoulders and chest. He even let me suck on his nipples, something that's usually too intense for him. Mike is a good cuddler in general, but not especially interested in my breasts or full-body licking and sucking; none of this changed with the oxytocin.

We looked at each other with smarmy smiles, a little giggly. We didn’t sink into intense talking or gazing.

In ten minutes, the stony effects began to dissipate for me. I still felt very calmed down and interested in Mike's skin. Our lovemaking seemed within then bounds of the usual for us. It was nice but not ecstatic or spiritual.

For the rest of the afternoon and evening, I experienced Mike as being nicer and more responsive to me. He said it was because I was being more open, which certainly could be true. It's difficult to know where the physical effect of oxytocin ends and the effects of our intention to focus on each other and have a good experience begins. Of course, behaving sweetly and focusing on the other person can create endogenous oxytocin.

Our experience mirrors the general understanding of how women differ from men. We're more emotional, more vulnerable, feel more bonded after sex. Estrogen increases the effects of oxytocin, while testosterone mutes them and causes them to dissipate sooner, so women feel all oxytocin's effects more strongly.

I felt the initial effects of oxytocin quite intensely, both physically and emotionally. I did not feel vulnerable, because I trust Mike, but I did feel open. These effects are not something that I would want to experience while at a party or while making some anxious social transaction like calling an editor or making a date.

Mike didn’t feel either the physical or emotional effects as much, he said. Again, some of this difference could be the result of his level of self-analysis and disclosure, or the fact that he has chronic sinusitis and one nostril has been cauterized, so he might absorb less. There were some moments when he acted shy, the way he did when we first met.

By Monday, I was all the way back into my cranky mood.

I hope more women experiment, and people do different kinds of experiments. For example, I wonder how I would have felt if I dosed alone. Would I have run out of the house madly looking for a puppy?

If you've tried it, please let me know what happened.

Comments

[Daniel (Neurofreak)]

Loved the story, Susan!!!

"These effects are not something that I would want to experience while at a party or while making some anxious social transaction like calling an editor or making a date."

Why? It almost seemed as if you were just less-sexually inhibited and in general more relaxed.

[kuchinskas]

I must not have described the experience that well, then. I felt very much in my right brain, that is, not analytical or even thoughtful. More emotional -- although definitely positive,not anxious. But muddy, foggy, mushy.

Have you ever tried to talk seriously with someone who's really stoned? And they give you that smarmy look and go,"Whatever"? That was me at first.

It's a mode that can be good when you're with someone you trust who knows you well, but it'd not a way I'd want to present to strangers.

[Daniel (Neurofreak)]

Susan,
Not only have I been with someone really stoned... I'VE been stoned on more than one occassion. I try to limit it to a few times a month. lol. Before I stumbled across neurofeedback, fish oil, and the like... I was legitimately a stoner.

I've noticed though that alpha training has a tendancy to make me feel stoned/slowed/relaxed, but in a less anxious way. Pot makes me feel slowed down but in a weird kind of socially creeped out way.

The alpha training feeling I certainly enjoy while socializing... the pot feeling... not as much.

"The effect lasted from 3 PM into the evening, but some of that, I think, was the natural effect of consciously spending quality time together, rather than from the external dose itself."

I've got a friend, Susan, that doses oxytocin up to 3 times a day... he said that he feels as if the "buzz" lasts the first 15 minutes, but the lingering good feelings stay pretty well. I think this is basically a result of the initial blast opening you up some, and that being opened up allows you to basically... keep producing oxytocin. Thus it causes a cascade effect. I'd like to hear more about oxytocin possibly being a tool for longterm anxiety treatment (by changing anxious responses, etc.).

[Nicky]

I just learned about the hormone oxytocin in my developmental psych class and did some follow up research. After reading a few articles and people's experiences using oxytocin, I just finished ordering OxyCalm online. I have mild-moderate anxiety, so I'm hoping this will help a bit. Plus, the relationship I'm in right now is super tense -- so I'm looking forward to experimenting in a week or so when the order arrives. I'll check back with you then!

[kuchinskas]

that's exciting. Do let us know how it feels and your experience? Want to make a guest blog entry? That would be excellent!

[John]

Great site!

Am curious about your dosage. Did you use the 5mg bottle then dillute? If so how much oxytocin, and how much water did you use for the spray bottle? What was the size of the spray bottle? Any specifics on what you did would be great!

Thanks in advance!

John

[Susan Kuchinskas]

I can't measure! I mean, I really am incapable of much beyond "one tablespoon." The standard dose in trust experiments is 24 IU -- whatever that means.

I used an over-the-counter hay fever inhaler that held 4 ML and filled it with distilled water and the entire 5 ml of oxytocin. It dissolves immediately.

The dilution they use in the experiments requires about 4 snorts in each nostril to provide the 24 IU. Oxytocin doesn't seem to be so dose-sensitive that getting a bit extra is a problem.

You should probably find someone who did well in chemistry class to explain how to mix it.

[John]

Hi Susan,

Starting my experiment in the day or two. As I am not a female and don't have the blessing of giving birth, I will be looking at other effects mentioned in various experiments and tests. I think you have great site!

[John]

Hi Susan,

Starting my experiment in the day or two. As I am not a female and don't have the blessing of giving birth, I will be looking at other effects mentioned in various experiments and tests. I think you have great site!

[Sarah]

Hey, Susan. I am normally a very open and trusting individual to begin with but I just ended a two year relationship. I gained weight through the whole ordeal. I just ordered a spray online for $150 that should last me six months. I used it before I went out to a tres chic nightclub and men who WOULD NEVER approach me were swarming around my table... Love it love it love it...

[Dawn]

I have finally decided to try this for myself and can't decide which one to order? There are so many brands and variations. Has anyone tried the spray that you wear yet?